There are many changes that take place during the course of a divorce in NJ. These changes lead to a great deal of stress for the parents and children but fortunately, there are some things they can do to lessen the amount of stress the circumstances create.
You’re Not Divorcing Your Children
Even though you are divorcing your spouse, you are certainly not divorcing your children. This means first and foremost to avoid saying anything cruel to your spouse in an area where the children can hear; the words you say can have a lasting effect on them. According to psychological studies, the more damaging the divorce process is when parents fight more frequently.
How can you avoid saying anything harmful to your spouse? Take some time to give some thought to what you plan to say instead of simply blurting out an answer that is hurting, sarcastic, or stated in anger. Try counting to ten first and then answer a question or make a statement when you are able to do it without anger or sarcasm.
Another important thing to keep in mind about divorce is it will not prevent the children from having a continuing relationship with the other parent unless there is abuse involved. No matter how upset you are with your spouse you should always encourage the children to preserve that healthy bond and avoid interfering in any way.
You should also take your children to a mental health professional to help them learn how to deal with the divorce. It’s important for you to seek counseling for yourself as well in order to address any needs your children may have concerning the divorce.
Better Alternatives to Divorce
While some people are of the mistaken idea that all divorce cases take place in court, there are alternatives to court. One alternative you may want to consider is mediation. A mediator is a neutral third party whose sole responsibility is to help divorcing couples work out mutual agreements. Frequently the mediator recommends each individual spouse speak with an attorney during the process of mediation although the attorney doesn’t attend any of those meetings.
Another method is called collaborative divorce where each spouse works with an individual attorney, and they work together to resolve the issues outside of court. These legal professionals assemble in order to help the couple finalize the various issues related to the resolution of the marriage.